December 2009
105 posts
I forgot to mention.
I had the weirdest fucking dreams last night, all of which involved me at work, waiting on people whom I follow on Tumblr and don’t know in real life.
TWO GUESSES AS TO WHAT I SPEND WAY TOO MUCH OF MY TIME DOING.
I am trying to post a picture of the totes...
Tumblr, why can’t you just let me be me?
“I shall gather myself into my self again
I shall take my scattered selves and...”
– “The Crystal Gazer,” by Sara Teasdale
“(803): Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.”
– Texts From Last Night (because I am a frat boy)
note to self
molls:
Keep your insecurities in here *points to heart* and not here *points to mouth*.
Sexism in 2k9.
Me: Hello sir, how can I hel-
Man: I'm looking for a hat for my wife. I have her on the phone, and I'll let her explain to you what she wants.
Me: Um... Hello?
Woman: Huh - hello? Who is this? Is the Macy's lady?
Me: I'm a man.
Woman: Ohhh...oh oh oh. This won't dooo. I need to speak with a woman.
Me: EXCUSE ME?
Woman: You obviously won't know what I'm looking for. I need a woman.
Me: MA'AM I WORK IN THIS DEPARTMENT AND IF YOU WANT TO FIND ANYTHING YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME, BOKAY?
Apparently my mother thinks she's Danica Patrick...
Nice one, Deb.
Merry Christmas! Shitter was full!
A few things:
Last night’s Christmas Eve Eve festivities in Cleveland were a rousing success. I got quite toasted and made new friends. Delightful.
Consequently, work was a hot-ass mess. I showed up five minutes late and looking like I had just gotten into a fight. I looked rough, you guys.
There were an unnecessary amount of bodies up in that store. I literally got sweaty and out-of-breath. Foul.
A...
“In this topsy turvy world, one thing is certain: nerds will always think it’s...”
– Paul Rust (via putthison)
"For God's sake, Lemon, we'd all like to flee to...
I’m making like Liz Lemon tonight and going to a Christmas Eve Eve gathering in Tremont thrown by the friend of a college friend. I know exactly two people going to this party, so I sure hope I don’t get drunk, take off my pants and cry. (Not that that’s happened before…nope…)
I always get a little nervous before events like these, even when I know more than two...
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3 tags
"Twilight's" Taylor Lautner Will Neither Confirm... →
Can all news items that discuss Taylor Lautner’s potential homosexuality please be delayed until February 11, 2010, so I don’t feel like such a big creep?
I need to make my life more interesting and...
It’s up to me, y’all.
HOPE AND CHANGE! YES WE CAN!
3 tags
Is it mean that I don't want a good thing to...
Does that make sense? Probs not.
My bestie applied for a job teaching English in South Korea. He’s going through the final stages of his immigration checks and things like that, and if they get approved he will be moving there in January. If things don’t pan out (and they may not), we’re moving to Chicago together in February. Regardless of my job situation, or how much money I...
And another thing.
6:30am workdays are getting real old real MF-in’ fast.
2 tags
You guys, I just wanna be snowed in.
2 tags
Happy...
Is it rude and out of place to tell someone that...
Probably. Ooops, too late.
It’s really great when you are scheduled to work from 6:30am-11:30am, but your manager comes in the day before you are scheduled and says, “Oh, we moved your shift back to 8:00am” and you’re like “Yesss” in your mind but then she says, “Yeah, you’re now scheduled from 8:00am-6:00pm” and you’re like “Waiiit” in your mind and...
Five things I wish I were doing right now:
Gettin’ the fuck outta dodge.
Having a Real Person Job.
Drankin’ some drank.
D’in some dub. (I don’t even know what that means, but it sounds worthwhile.)
Doing a choreographed dance with 30 of my sexy male teammates for the Ellen show.
Also, sorry-I'm-not-sorry for the BQQ overload...
The New Jason, or How I Need to Stop Falling in...
So, I do this thing where I fall in love with straight dudes.
In college, I had a friend/roommate/secret love interest named Jason. Jason and I were best girlfriends. We lived together, scheduled classes together, lunched midday, hung out on weekends, and even shared clothes. We were nearly common-law hubbies. I would’ve filed for same-sex partner benefits and gotten him literature on...
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I just ate three muffins, a whole pizza, and a...
STOP IT YOU FUCKING FATTY.
"Catching up" with high school classmates is...
So I'm kind of having a really rough time right...
Promise.
SOME OF MY FRIENDS ARE REALLY BAD AT BEING FRIENDS...
Grr.
I'm getting a little pissy.
“Jonas. Son of a bitch.”
– Bill Paxton in Twister, aka winner of the 1997 Academy Award for Best Picture, aka no it wasn’t but BILL AND HELEN WERE ROBBED.
New Year's Res #1: Going veg.
No meat in 2010, and beyond!
(Except the occasional seafood treat.)
(And penis.)
There are only three weeks left in 2009.
And here I was just getting used to the daily punch to the face from good ol’ 2K9.
Browns 13, Steelers 6 →
Wait, what?
And yes, I'm a big ol' pretentious asshole.
fairylights:
all i want for christmas is you
