January 2010
50 posts
2 tags
FUCKING ENGAGED FUCKING NINETEEN TIIIIIIIMES!!!
1 tag
PISSES ME RIGHT OFF.
RIGHT THE FUCK OFF. HOLY MOTHER.
2 tags
Every time I walk into a room, I want Prince Ali's...
You know, from Aladdin.
MAKE WAYYYYYYYYYY FOR PRINCE ALIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!
1 tag
Yep...wearin' my pants backwards.
WHO LETS ME GO PLACES.
1 tag
Where I learned various inappropriate words and...
ericnelson:
justkevin:
Fuck - Kindergarden, on the bus home, heard it from the Howard twins, they were a year ahead of me and were also the only black (is that ok to use?) kids on the bus route so that made them like 5 years ahead of the rest of us cool wise.
The Middle Finger - Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, when Rooney flips the flower guy the bird after he beeps shave and a hair cut. I did it...
“I spent my life learning to feel less. Every day I felt less. Is that growing...”
– Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (via rickahh)
2 tags
“I am taffy-stuck and tongue-tied
Stutter-shook and uptight
Pull me out from...”
– “Colorblind,” Counting Crows
“Melting pot Harlem - Harlem of honey and chocolate and caramel and rum and...”
– Langston Hughes
“Situated on an island, which I think it will one day cover, it rises like...”
– Frances Trollope
“One belongs to New York instantly; one belong to it as much in five minutes as...”
– Thomas Wolfe
I am a fat lazy fuck.
OMGGG GET OUT OF BEDDD.
1 tag
Things we discuss at work.
JC: That's how we do in the fine jewelry department.
Me: Jul-ry.
JC: Joo-well-ry.
Me: No, you gotta get a little hood with it. Joo-ree.
JC: Joo-ree.
Me: JOOOO-REEEEEEE
JC: Joo-ree. A gathering of Jews.
Me: Joo-ree. Twelve angry men.
Eek, you guys.
Applying for jobs is kind of like internet dating, right? You search through dozens of profiles for one that sounds attractive and you find a list of qualifications, which is basically like “HEY WAT UP A/S/L???” Then, you forward that faceless internet person your A/S/L, along with dozens of other personal minutiae that should probably be more private than they are. (Really? Do you...
Alllmost left the house wearing sweatpants, which...
Glad I avoided that fashion catastrophe RIGHT ROSEY?!?!?!
1 tag
rickahh:
my dad is out of town for a few days. i asked him to leave me some money last night, just for food, and he said he’d think about it. HE WROTE ME A CHECK FOR $20. knowing that i won’t go to the bank by myself and that jane is too busy to come over in the next several days. GUHHHHHHH.
Gur, I’d go to the bank with you if I didn’t work during normal business hours. Fo’...
2 tags
Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. Worst day ever.
We had a store visit from our regional managers today, so naaaaturally my boss dumped on me the entire day. And then I broke a glass shelf. And then I got into my car after work and drove TEN FUCKING FEET before my tire blew. So, cue to me, dressed to the nizzines in my work uniform, crawling around on my hands and fucking knees in the parking lot at 9:30pm to change a tire.
UGH.
I NEED TO STOP WATCHING "HOARDERS"
I think A&E needs to stage an “Intervention” for my addiction to this show. It’s disturbing.
I'm sorry, is this "17 Again"?
Did I fall asleep and wake up in 2003, as a hotshot high school senior on a mission of stealth parenting and to win back the girl of his dreams?
I didn’t think so.
SO WHY ARE WE* ALL ACTING LIKE THE CAST OF DEGRASSI?
WHY AM I ONLY BEING SPOKEN TO THROUGH PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE TEXT MESSAGES?
WHY CAN WE* NOT FUNCTION AS RATIONAL TWENTY-SOMETHINGS?
Probably because I can only form analogies...
“ME!!!!!”
– Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
“Only time can tell, and I am not time, so I cannot tell.”
– Unknown.
4 tags
1 tag
Ooh girl, I am sleepin' in tomorrow!
I just set my alarm for 4:45am - I am wasting my day away.
2 tags
Boooo.
Not to go all Complaining Christopher on y’all, but today has really sucked.
I woke up 3:30 this morning because I had to be at work at 4:30. Which is just awful. Inventory was particularly bumpy this morning, and I had to rescan about 500 items because my scanner decided to shit out on me and delete all my data. Delightful.
On my way home, I talked to my friend Bridget on the phone, which...
2 tags
On being a suburban mom.
I worked the early early inventory shift at work today, so after I got off I ran some errands. While I was out and about, I decided to stop at Main Street Cupcakes in Hudson - if you’re ever in the Cleveland/Akron area, GO HERE PLEASE - and have a little somethin’ somethin’ on the drive home.
You guys. They make a cupcake that is white cake with cookie dough and chocolate chips...
I'm playing a few quick games of Poppit before I...
Brb, staring down my 50s in the face.
1 tag
rickahh:
me: i think that once you’ve put your mouth on someone else’s business, you can do whatever you want to in front of them. jane: i work with patrick tomorrow. me: speaking of mouth on business.
This girl’s a prophet, y’all.
2 tags
SO TIRED. SO CRANKY. HULK SMASH.
Gap. Are you tryna tell me that cargo pants are...
Friendship = terminated.
1 tag
I don't mean to get all Harvard MBA or FINANSHULLL...
but if you ever want to curb your out-of-control spending, keep track of your total income v. how much you have in your bank account. LEGITIMATELY ALARMING, GUYS. I’m shredding my debit card.
rickahh:
formspring.
“where do you online shop? more pointedly, where do you shop for underoos? i’m a little over victoria’s secret, lolol.”
mostly victoria’s secret and urban outfitters for pantystuffs. i’m really into intimissimi from victoria’s secret, but that’s because i am into lacy, see-through, totally not practical underthingies. so i don’t know if that information was helpful.
#I...
@rickahh
Saw it!
2 tags
You guys, I'm watching Platinum Weddings and...
rickahh:
for some reason, my use of the word “perving” reminded me of when my friend sab told me the facts of life and that the only thing mens are interested in is “the humpity hump” and i was like, “yeah, so?” because what’s wrong with that and whatever this is pointless just like everything else EXISTENTIAL CRISIS.
SABBY. She would say “humpity hump.”
mel: BOOM. Barry's going to call for $250 million big ones for math and science education.
molly: PIE R SQUARED, MOTHERFUCKERS.
mel: aww yeah, it's about to get real quadratic up in here
molly: our logarithms are going to beat the shit out of your logarithms
mel: the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire (because we set it on fire with our bunsen burners for motherfucking experimental purposes)
molly: we're dropping some bomb-ass beats on these plants here to see if they'll grow faster
mel: ...
molly: yeah, I ran out of bits pretty quickly. Good thing they're spending this money so kids won't be as fucking useless as we are.
mel: Fibonacci sequence, bitchez!
molly: do you know what that is, or are you just saying a phrase you vaguely remember?
mel: goddammit.
Two of my childhood friends got engaged today.
I’ve known one (my backyard neighbor) since we were toddlers, and the other since first grade, when I was the only boy invited to her birthday party. (You know I was ballin’ even as a six-year-old.) We were in school together for thirteen years, which was long enough for me to watch their friendship, playground crush, middle school flirtation, and high school courtship play out in...
Hey, look! I'm paying my bills on time, not -5...
This must be what adulthood looks like.
“I’ll tell ya what I’m gonna give you, Snakes. I’m gonna give...”
– Home Alone, aka what I repeated to myself all day yesterday while writing down the date (1-2-10).
Tell me something - WHERE YO' BOSS AT?